It's been an uncounted number of days now since we stepped off the bus in Phuket Town and got the motor scooters (hereafter referred to as "the bikes") from Risto's friend Martin who runs a dive shop/hostel in Kata Beach. We explored Phuket Town -- interesting colonial architecture & not much more -- and spent a few days beach hopping the entire west coast -- the east doesn't have many beaches, and at those few there are vicious riptides -- until finally settling four days ago on Nai Yang in bungalows on the beach. The On On Hotel in Phuket Town was infested with bedbugs, giving me my first Thai souvenir, a line of terribly itchy bites down my right arm along with a now-abating insomnia caused by a DT-style psychosis: "there's fucking bugs crawling all over me!" So we left Phuket Town and settled in Nai Yang. It's fair to say that we traded up. The price? 1200 baht for 3 nights. Not bad considering that those without my inborn parsimony -- thanks Dad -- are paying 1000 baht per night.
The night before we left Phuket Town we painted it red with an Indonesian girl, a Chinese girl, two Thai guys and a girl, one Australian, one Austrian, and a partridge in a pear tree. My particular brand of flailing about on the dance floor is much beloved by the Thai people and I am now revered on a level second only to the King and/or the Buddha.
The beaches are very beautiful here, with crystal clear aquamarine water and soft sand that whistles/squeaks when you walk on it. It's only too bad that Phuket is filled with unsmiling tourists, the influx of which has caused the Thais to become mercenary and equally unsmiling. Yesterday I took off on a long run down the beach, falling into a sort of a trance as I ran, not noticing the growing blood-blisters on my feet until I felt a shooting pain go up my leg. I reinvented profanity when I turned around to see that I had run nearly half the length of the island and was now effectively hobbled by my sheer enthusiasm. So I began to swim back, soon realizing that that wasn't going to work what with darkness quickly falling and jellyfish in the water. I asked a guy with a motor raft how much it would be to ferry me back to my bungalow & he quoted me 1000 baht. Nothing doing. I walked into the nearest hotel and had them call me a taxi, but when he arrived he didn't have a meter -- always, ALWAYS make sure they have a meter or you'll end up paying whatever astronomical price they can imagine -- and so again I declined. The tourist boom has rung dollar signs into the eyes of all the Thais it has touched and even a guy who can barely walk can't catch a break. But barely walk I did, for four hours back down the beach, the monotony only broken by a beautiful sunset in neon pastels and a chance meeting with a Lithuanian girl who gave me a drink of water.
Two days later Risto and I decided to explore the northeast part of the island. We pulled into a marina to look at the boats and on a whim decided to leave our contact info on the notice board. An hour later Tom, the Alaskan owner of the S/V Saveke, gave us a call and asked if we could help him sail his boat down to Malaysia on a visa run. We decided to meet with Tom first to find out if he was enough of a psychopath to make the trip interesting. He is a retired long-line fisherman and seems like a nice guy, so in one week we sail for Malaysia. Until then we travel to Phi Phi island, then Koh Lanta, Krabi, Ao Nang, and back around to Phuket.
Update, February 6th: Phi Phi island is paradise, if paradise had a landfill's worth of garbage shipped in with a bunch of drunks from around the world. Sewage in the streets and emptiness in everyone's eyes. In other words it's a fucking nightmare and we left as soon as possible. We're now on Koh Lanta and it's much slower paced, although the beaches aren't as nice as those we've seen. I'll be glad to get back to the Saveke and help Tom bend his sails on. First we hike around Krabi and Ao Nang. Innocent out.
Post-script: a note on annoyances. "Tuk-tuk?" and "Where you going?" are two phrases you will hear on nearly a daily basis if you visit Thailand, the latter being simply an elongated version of the former. A tuk-tuk is a sort of three-wheeled open-air pickup driven at high speeds without regard for human life. It seems as if half the population of Thailand has tuk-tuks, and they all want to know where you're going. Take one once for the experience, agree on the price beforehand, and then buy a t-shirt with the phrase "No, I don't want a fucking tuk-tuk, a massage, or a suit, thank you very much," written on it in Thai.
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