I arrived in Bangkok on Monday the 24th of January, 2011, which was, if you live in the United States, the 23rd of January. This is, of course, due to the fact that I flew over the International Date Line where the Day officially begins. If you're a friend of mine on Facebook you'll know that I joked that I had traveled into the future (I'm so clever) and was witnessing events to come, namely, a world populated by Asians. But you'll really have to squint to see that far into the future because the world's Latinozoids are predominantly Catholic and are therefore breeding like rabbits while here in Asia they like to fuck just as much, but bare electrical wires and car accidents seem to wipe them out almost as quickly as they can repopulate. I saw four or five crashes in one day in Bangkok, and the Estonian who's been traveling with me thus far informed me that in China cab drivers simply run down any pedestrian or bicycler foolhardy enough to attempt to cross the street. I guess when you've got that many people around, human life comes pretty cheap. I've always said that there are too many people on the planet but I never advocated killing any of them off -- yet I still maintain that couples should have to get a license to have a child -- and to see it happen doesn't gladden my heart at all, especially since I might be next.
The Estonian, Risto by name, began talking to me on the plane and we were going to part ways after we landed, but the three Finns he was going to go to Pattaya with were just too jazzed to get started with their sex tourism that they took off without him. If Risto himself is interested in the seamy side of life here in Thailand he hasn't mentioned it to me yet.
We stayed at the New Road Guesthouse in Bangkok's China Town, a really comfortable and cheap option -- $5 a night -- close to Silom Road, infamous for its Patpong area where you can, if you're looking for it, find any kind of sexual satisfaction, a la carte. I am not, let me repeat NOT, here in Thailand for sex. If I find a gorgeous fellow tourist I wouldn't have the heart to refuse her a night or three with me, but I find prostitution -- and especially the prostitution here which is basically a slave trade -- to be distasteful. I think that sex should be free and the result of a mutual attraction, not a commodity. Yet it is the world's oldest profession, and one that Bangkok specializes in. I was warned not to get into any "weird trouble" by my aunt before I came down here, and I take that to mean that she thinks I'll get involved in sex and/or drugs here (or something a bit more creative), which, to be honest, with my somewhat checkered past is not an hugely far-fetched assumption, though it's still insulting. I came to Thailand to find something, but that something is not a material thing and has nothing to do with debauchery. Don't ask me what that something is, however, as I couldn't begin to tell you. But I'll know when I find it.
Speaking of debauchery, I did go to Khao San Road the night before I left Bangkok and had a great time with two Estonian girls -- what's with all the Estonians? -- and an English guy. We went to a backpacker bar where there was a Thai dude doing really amazing renditions of American and English rock songs on the guitar, and afterwards we went dancing at a disco until four in the morning. Great fun. Risto kept asking me whether such and such a girl was a ladyboy or not, and I like to think that I could tell the difference at least 80% of the time, but some of them were, and will remain, mysteries to me.
We left for Phuket by bus the next morning, which is to say yesterday. The bus system here really puts Greyhound's tail between its legs. The buses here are double-deckers with the lower seats being VIP -- wide and fully reclining -- while the upstairs seats are about as wide as Greyhound's but recline much further and are infinitely more comfortable. There is television and meal service as well as snacks served by an attractive Thai woman in a smart suit and all included in the price of the ticket: about $20 to get from Bangkok to Phuket. Come on U.S.A., we can do better...
So we're in Phuket today and staying at the same hotel where Leonardo DiCaprio gets the map in the movie "The Beach". It's actually much nicer than they make it look in the movie -- though it is still bare-bones -- and for 180 baht you can't go wrong. Tomorrow we rent scooters and buzz around the island looking for the best beach, a sailboat to get on, and, God willing, some surf. Ciao for now, Innocent out.
